What I said and what they heard...

This past Sunday in my church I made a reference to homosexuality and abortion as sins. My point was not so much to condemn these two acts as it was to condemn the way some "Christians" respond to them. Protesters holding "God hates gays" signs and people who shoot abortion doctors should realize that their actions are not in line with following Jesus. That was my point. But as always, what I am trying to say and what people hear are not the same thing. I got an email on Monday which emphasized the following points...

1. The writer was very disappointed that I called homosexuality a sin.
2. The son of the writer was a homosexual who was living a healthy life and contributing to society.
3. A member of our church had told this person that if his son was a homosexual that he would shoot him. From the writer's perspective, my comments would serve only to reinforce this type of thinking.
4. That if this type of "judgemental" thinking was what it meant to be a Baptist that the writer had no desire to be a Baptist.

I spent some time today crafting my response and really felt that this is how I feel about the whole issue. I am putting it here to see what the two of you who read this blog think.

Hello ------,

Thanks for your comments. I do appreciate your honesty. I'm sorry that I offended you. I did not mean to encourage anyone in our congregation to look down on or mistreat anyone who is gay. Comments like the one you mentioned by one of our members are exactly the problem. God loves people regardless of their sexual orientation. If you'll recall my point was that "Christians" who hold signs that state that "God hates gays" should also realize that it is a sin to hate anyone. We are all sinners, all in need of God's mercy.

I do believe, based on my study of the Bible, that homosexuality is a sin. This does not mean that your son does not have a valid faith, or that all homosexuals are not Christians. I know of deeply committed Christians who hold the opposite viewpoint on this from me. My fear about the church is that we have made homosexuality THE sin. We are so willing to condemn others without looking first into our own hearts. Lying, gossip, materialism, disregard for the poor - all of these things are sins. While I see homosexuality (the practice of homosexuality as opposed to the orientation of homosexuality) as a sin, I do not, by any means want to be seen as promoting hatred or condescension toward those who are homosexuals. They, like me, need the love and forgiveness of Jesus. And my role as a follower of Jesus is to live in a way that shows them respect, dignity, and love. On the issue of whether it is a sin or not, I am willing that we can agree to disagree. But I have no choice in regards to what Christ asks me to show them - love, just like He calls me to love everyone.

From your email I can see that these two ideas seem to be in contradiction. I really did not want it to come across this way. I am not making any judgements about the integrity of your son, or about his contribution to society. In fact, I have found many homosexuals who I know to be more "moral" than many Christians. This concerns me, and this is what I was trying to address.

In regards to your not being Baptist, I would applaud your decision. It is much more important to wrestle with what it means to be a follower of Jesus than it is to try to fit yourself into the imperfect mold of being a Baptist.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Many people disagee with me but don't have the courage to verbalize it. You did it with love and respect, which makes clear to me that you are in pursuit of truth and not out to hurt or destroy.

I have never met you as far as I can remember, but I would like to. I also would like to make clear that coming to our services doesn't mean that you agree with everything that we (or I) say or do. I don't think we'll ever find a group of people who agree completely on everything. Part of the benefit of coming together is to strengthen and challenge one another in our areas of disagreement, while unifying around the call to follow Jesus.

Please let me know if you would like to talk further.

By Grace,


Jeff Kuhn

Any comments from the blogosphere?