The Strength of Weakness

Whoever came up with those "All I ever need to know I learned in..." sayings obviously didn't understand the concept of lifelong learning. It seems that all of life is an education, especially when it comes to spiritual growth. I've been recently "taking a class" (not really a class, just a series of life lessons that God seems to be sending my way) called "The Strength of Weakness". I really thought I had this one down already. I knew all those strength in weakness scriptures, I've even preached on most of them at some time or another. But I guess God thought that maybe I had a little room to grow in this area, so He enrolled me in this particular class. I set it up pretty nicely by doing some stupid things that helped to amplify my own weakness. By the time I had done them there was no doubt that I was a perfect candidate as one who God could use my inability to reveal His ability. As if that wasn't enough, I had some people enter my world who said some very painful things. Things that came to my mind as I laid awake at night. Complicate this even more by one of my children going through a struggle with anxiety, "friendly" emails implying that both I and my church are falling headlong into heresy, and I get to the point where I'm not even so sure that I want to get up to go to "work for God" anymore. In a nutshell, the first part of this "class" has been a review of how little strength or power that I actually possess.

The most encouraging part of this whole process has been the way God has brought experiences around to me that have been so clearly meant for me at this point in my journey.

Angela and I had coffee and cake with a close friend who is celebrating 4 years of sobriety. She has struggled for each and every day of these four years. One of her statements cut right to my heart. She said that the minute she thinks that she has made it, that alcohol has lost it's grip on her, that is the beginning of the end. The reason that she celebrates these "birthdays" (she doesn't enjoy them - they're very humbling) is to remind herself that each and every day she needs God to overcome her desire for alcohol.

And that's a little like I feel right now. I am so aware of my own inability that if anything that happens in my life for the Kingdom I have no choice but to acknowledge that it is God at work. When I fail, He succeeds. When I blow it, He triumphs. And little by little I learn the lesson of the strength of weakness.

There is hope in my weakness. God uses all of this to remind me who He is. To remind me that He will not fail. To remind me that His love for me is not based on my success for Him, but on His own nature as Love Incarnate. Let me leave you with a benediction that comes from Brennan Manning. It goes something like this...

May you lose everything that you've got.
May everything that you try fail.
May you be embarrassed in front of the world so that you may laugh and sing and dance
Before the God who is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.