Not what we know but who we love

I learned a lesson from watching my father over 20 years ago. Like many of his generation, smoking was a rite of passage - something that you just did at a certain age. You learned to drive, you got a job, you lit up a smoke. That decision plagued him for years. As he married and had a family he began to loathe his need for a cigarette. Many times in desperation he threw has pack out the window of the car, only to return to the spot later to, in his own words, "…part the weeds to look for my smokes.” Today he is free from that addiction. He credits it to two things. First, he told God that he wanted to quit but that he couldn’t. He asked for help. Second, what motivated his prayer of desperation was a comment from my older sister who was soon to be married. After my dad had recovered from a coughing spell, my sister simply said, “Dad, I sure want you to be around to see your grandchildren.” That comment moved him to pray. That prayer empowered him to change. And 26 years later, he is still a changed man.

What motivates change? It’s not education. My father knew the dangers of smoking for years before he quit. His motivation came from something deeper than knowledge, it came from relationship. He changed not because of what he knew, but because of who he loved. He saw how lighting a cigarette was going to impact his children, and his coming grandchildren. That drove him to his knees. That was the catalyst for change.

The Bible is full of this idea of the power of relational motivation when it comes to change.

• We love, because He first loved us.
• Now that I, Your Lord and Master, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.
• As the Father has sent me, so send I you.

God’s plan was not just to teach us who He was, but to invite us into a transforming relationship with Him. In that relationship we learn who He is, but not as a laboratory student doing a dissection, we learn as a friend. If our life is to bring about transformation in the lives of others, it has to facilitate relationship. And while that will involve knowledge and education, it has to go deeper than that. It must allow truth to impact emotions.It needs to dig in deep on a relational level. It needs to help us (and those around us) know God, not know about God. It needs to reflect the true image of God to the world around us.