Questions in my head...

I hesitate to even write this blog entry. It is a reflection of what Angela and I have been talking about for the past several weeks. (When I write “I” you can read “we.”) I have started it in my head a thousand times, but the text gets garbled and I end up sending it to the trash can that I keep at the bottom right corner of my mental screen. The problem is that I can’t seem to empty it for good. I’d like to avoid it, but I think it’s time to put some words down in black and white. I have a zillion questions in my head. I have tried to sort through them and develop some type of cohesive writing that would state how I really feel about the issues. But the clarity escapes me. So I write with confusion. Be patient with me. Maybe writing will serve as my therapy.

It’s about America. I am American. I am thankful that I was born in this nation. It has afforded me freedoms and privileges that many in the world only dream of. I love this country. It is a part of who I am. But living here again has stirred up a lot of questions that I find most of those around me don’t seem to even wrestle with. It all came to a head yesterday. We went to church, a church that I love, and prepared our hearts to focus on God, His Kingdom, and our surrender to it. I forgot that it was Memorial Day week-end. I guess that was my first mistake. For those of you who don’t know what Memorial Day is, it’s a government holiday set aside to remember all US veterans, especially those who have died in service to their country. About 10 minutes of the service was focused on this, including a video presentation reminding us that “Freedom is not free!”. While the intent of Memorial Day is to honor veterans, the thrust of this part of the service was focused on OUR freedom, implying that the current military efforts in Iraq are keeping us free. What angered me was that there was not even a concern that fellow believers (I’m talking about Iraqi believers here), as well as other innocent lraqis were suffering and dying in order to “keep us free”. Any critical thought at all would have to admit that by freedom we mean economic good times. My daughter got a bracelet from her Sunday school teacher with “WWJD” on it – What Would Jesus Do? Would Jesus support the killing of hundreds of thousands of Iraqi’s (some believers and some who don’t know Jesus) in order to make sure that we can continue to live our lives of unrestrained materialism?

I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me just list some of the questions (and related thoughts) that are floating through my head.

1. What does it mean “we’re fighting for freedom”? Freedom for who? Freedom from what? What exactly is “our freedom?” What right do Christian’s have to allow the killing of others in order to preserve our freedom. See Bill Moyer’s video here.

2. What does it mean to “honor our troops”? I think one of the most noble actions is to offer your life for another. I respect the troops, their passion, bravery, and willingness to risk all for someone else. My father fought in Korea. I have always admired his willingness to lay down his life on behalf of others. I always will. But should that honor not mean that we take very seriously their offer? Should we not think long and hard about their sacrifice? Should we not make sure that they are only called to offer their lives for truth? Is economic freedom worth their blood? You can support the troops and yet question their commanding officers. See this article from the Washington Post.

3. What does it mean to be a patriot? I get the feeling from living here that it means that you do not question the government. Yet a patriot is, in my humble opinion, one who holds the government accountable for its actions. I have heard over and over again that our greatest threat is terrorism. Yet back in 2001 we lost 3,000 lives to terrorists and over 20,000 lives to homicide. Are the terrorists killing us, or are we killing ourselves? When George Bush says that we are going to “defeat terrorism” why isn’t the church reminding him that terrorism flows from the state of the heart. The US has no weapons that change the heart. The truth is that whatever we do in Iraq now will be a big mess. If we pull out, there will be a surge of Muslim support for Bin Laden, as well as an Iraq that will be further decimated by civil war. If we stay, we will lose more lives, take more lives, and further convince the Arab world that we will do anything to control them. You may criticize my thinking. You may disagree. But don’t call me unpatriotic. My questions are the heart of patriotism. It’s silence that destroys us. To refuse to wrestle with hard questions, to keep silent when decisions are made that have lasting implications, to cheapen the lives of those soldiers by not making sure that they are not given in vain - this is treason.

4. And finally, shouldn’t the church steer clear of patriotic celebrations? At the very least, shouldn’t we exercise great caution when making pulpit pronouncements about the actions of our country? How can we maintain a prophetic voice for the Kingdom of God when we accept the actions of our government without honest reflection as disciples of Jesus? We use words too loosely. We say things that we don’t mean. Can followers of Jesus really “pledge allegiance” to anything other than Him? As believers, we should know what it means for someone to offer their life for us. Jesus bought us with a price…His own blood. How then can we offer our allegiance to anything else?

The irony - It was also Pentecost Sunday, the day of the Christian Year where we remember that God not only came to earth as the Son, but that He lives in His followers as the Holy Spirit. This was barely mentioned. Are we not skewed when we offer support to what is at best a controversial war, and neglect the sacrificial death that has really changed everything?

I love the church I go to here. It’s made up of amazing people who are seeking Jesus and His leadership in their lives. I am sure that there are many who are more like Him than I am. But yesterday, corporately, they missed it. They gave time to something they felt strongly about, but something that pales in comparison to a God who would lay aside His freedom, to give them a freedom that is greater than anything America has to offer.

A God who calls us to do the same.